Rest Stop

Rest Stop on the Deep Dive ADHD Journey

Today is the First of August. It’s a month bookended by my anniversary and my birthday, so I try to slow down, savor the end of summer, and celebrate! Heading into this month though I’ve been feeling impatient and putting a lot of pressure on myself about all the things I “should” be doing this month to prepare for the Fall. A perfect time to slow down and take stock of what’s really important. 

I think the universe agrees…

This morning I was out for my usual walk with my dog, a loop around a little wetland behind my house, when my dog ran ahead and disappeared around the next corner. I paused to take in the sound of the birds and the watery scent of the marsh when a river otter popped its nose out of the water. It caught my eye for just a moment before tumbling off in a diving somersault. 

I don’t see otters often, it’s probably been a year since I’ve seen one at that spot, but they are far and away my favorite animal, and I was utterly (otterly, if you will :-) delighted. 

The moment with the otter wove together three things that have surfaced this week.

First, it was a bit of a rough week. I think I’ve been experiencing “backdraft”. In the Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook that we’re discussing in our book club this summer:

“Backdraft refers to the pain - often very old pain - that may arise when we give ourselves kindness and compassion. Backdraft is a sign that the healing process has begun.”

Recognizing that allowed me to welcome the pain as a gift rather than fighting to escape feeling it. The practice of self-compassion, we’re learning, is about becoming a compassionate mess and befriending who we already are. (Thank you to those of you who have joined. There is so much wisdom in that group.)

Second, one of my coaches helped me to identify where that pain might be coming from and to see the possibility of who I could be without it. Not stuffing it down, numbing it or running from it but gently letting it be healed. Sometimes we hold onto old pain like a safety blanket even when it is no longer needed. Like a child going to school and learning to leave a treasured blankie at home, they are ready to step into the world without it, but it can be hard to leave at first. 

Third, my other coach :-) (I am so convinced of the power of coaching that I always have at least one coach) created the space for me to set down the “shoulds” and impatience and recognize what is truly important right now.

That one tiny moment this morning with the otter felt like the universe providing exactly what was needed in the moment. Play. Delight. Like a wink that I am seen and known and perfectly fine exactly where I am, without the striving and shoulding and impatience. 

How about you? What do you need this month to enter the busy Fall season with more clarity and compassion? What pain is ready to be laid down and left behind?

How are you paying attention to the delight that is right in your path? 

See you next month for Deep Dive ADHD Stop 4.

Wishing you delight, play and savoring this month.

Xoxo

Danica