Executive Functioning IRL
Hello!
I don’t often write about executive functioning in this newsletter — which is a little funny for an ADHD coach!
The truth is, I love diving deep with late-diagnosed ADHD women who have spent their whole lives “managing.” I’ve seen how deep internal shifts can open up entirely new possibilities when it comes to executive functioning. But lately, the topic has been front and center for me, because I have a presentation coming up on exactly this — and preparing for it is challenging every single one of my own executive functioning skills.
The Old Way: A Familiar Story
The presentation is a few weeks away. In my old life — before my diagnosis, before I could name what was going on — I would have had every intention of starting early. I’d plan to write the presentation, create the slides, get feedback from trusted colleagues, and practice my delivery. But here’s what would have actually happened:
I would have stressed and lost sleep. The stress and lost sleep would have made it even harder to get started. I would have done everything but the presentation — cleaned the house, cooked more than usual, reorganized my office. Classic procrastivity. As the deadline approached, panic would have kicked in. I’d beat myself up for not starting sooner, stay up way too late cobbling together a half-baked presentation, and deliver it entirely by the seat of my pants — something I’ve had years of practice doing.
Does any of that sound familiar?
The New Way: What’s Different Now
Now that I understand what’s going on and have real tools at my disposal, my approach looks completely different. Here’s what I’m actually doing:
Starting with mindset. Yes, I’m a little nervous — but I’m framing this as a genuine growth opportunity in front of a friendly audience. If I totally flop, (I hope I don’t!) it’s just information. A gift of learning, not a verdict on my worth as a coach.
Tending to my nervous system. A regulated nervous system is the foundation of executive functioning. I’m doing extra calming activities; breathing, meditating, exercising, over the next few weeks, knowing this widens my window of tolerance for difficult tasks.
Working with my energy, not against it. I’m scheduling high-cognitive work during the times of day when I’m most energized, and protecting that time.
Planning backwards. I’m working from the presentation date backwards, building a realistic timeline that accounts for everything else on my plate — and limiting other big cognitive demands where I have any control.
Meeting procrastination with self-compassion. When I inevitably stall (and I will), I’ll ask myself what I need in that moment. Maybe my dopamine is low and I need to tap my menu of healthy dopamine options to boost it. Maybe I need a body-double for accountability. Or maybe I just need to break the task down into tiny, choosable morsels and pick one.
The Bigger Picture
Executive functioning is one of the core topics in my Deep Dive ADHD program. A lot of people believe ADHD equals executive functioning challenges — and while there’s truth to that, especially when we’re younger, it’s only part of the picture. For late-diagnosed adults, years of unsupported struggles layer on additional challenges: shame, avoidance, identity, and patterns that have become deeply grooved over time.
That’s why letting go of shame — and bringing in a whole lot of self-compassion — is where the real shift begins. New patterns and behaviors become possible from there.
Is this showing up for you?
As you read this, did something in you go “oh, that’s me”? Maybe you recognized the procrastivity spiral, the good intentions that quietly collapse under stress, or the exhaustion of managing everything on willpower alone.
You don’t have to keep running on the same old patterns. In the Deep Dive coaching program, we look at exactly this — your unique executive functioning landscape, what’s been holding you back, and how to build a toolkit that actually fits your brain.
If you’re curious about what that could look like for you, I’d love to talk. Book a discovery call and let’s explore it together.
What I’ve been Reading/Watching/Listening to:
This space intentionally left blank.
(I’m taking a break from new content right now.)
What’s Coming Up:
Book Club
Switching up the format to be more of a traditional book club, i.e. read a book (monthly? bi-monthly?) and gather to discuss. Let me know if you’re interested in joining!
Deep Dive ADHD GROUP
I’m a huge believer in the power of community to spur growth and healing. And I have loved taking clients through the Deep Dive Program. I’m very excited to offer it as a group program this year! This group will be limited to 5 fabulous women to keep it intimate.
